Heads or Tails

This adulting thing ain’t easy. As single moms, the choice lies in us, and us only, to make. No coin can direct us which road to choose..png

The coin is up in the air, twisting and turning as it falls to the ground. Everyone leans forward to see how it’s going to land. Heads or tails? Which team will go first? One team moans and another cheer! Time to start the game.

There’s been plenty of times that life as a single mom feels like we’re just flipping a coin to see which direction to go. What decision to make. Which school to put our kids into. What job to apply for. We’d like to just flip the coin and do whatever it tells us to do.

But, we are adults here. And flipping a coin isn’t an option.

So, we get out a piece of paper. Label one side “Pros” and the other side “Cons.”

Or we brainstorm and fill a paper with circles full of options.

How about the days we call six of our closest friends and get six different options?

Kind of makes you want to crawl into bed and hide under the covers.  This adulting thing ain’t easy. As single moms, the choice lies in us, and us only, to make. No coin can direct us which road to choose.

After my divorce, I thought of leaving my church and finding another one. Seriously! It seemed so much easier to run from all the memories and all the questions. After all, we were Sunday School teachers to 9th and 10th graders. And, I had to look at those parents and just shrug my shoulders.

“Yes, we are getting a divorce.”

“No, I really don’t want to talk about it.”

Many Sundays, I felt like hiding under a pew. It seemed that life would be easier if I left my church. The church I grew up in. The church that supported me. Just so I wouldn’t have to let the people I loved see my tears. Flipping a coin seemed easy. My pros and cons list were equal. My circles had circles! And, everyone had an opinion. My friends. My kids. All of it.

There’s just one problem. I wasn’t praying about it. I wasn’t seeking God. I was tied up in my own disappointment and hurt. I wanted everyone’s opinion except for the One who actually mattered. I couldn’t focus. It was like being at the eye doctor. “Option 1 or option 2?”

Right before I made the crucial choice to leave it all behind, I remembered to pray. Something I should’ve done the month before. I asked God. I showed him my lists. Then, I got quiet. And I took some deep breaths. In the quietness, I got my answer. The peace deep down inside, was the answer. I was to stay and not go. A month after this, a friend literally dragged me into the singles Sunday School class. And, it was exactly where I needed to be. It was where the healing was. The place I learned to laugh again. Friendships formed that surrounded me when I needed it.

“The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.” Psalm 37:23

There’s nothing wrong with the lists and circles and the coin flips and asking opinions. But, there is a disservice to our Father when we try to make the choices without Him. He loves us and delights in every detail of our lives. He wants to lead us. He knows the best path to take! Before you do anything, ask Him for direction. Follow that peace deep down inside. Do things in the right order.

For single moms, our paths may be different. I know some who chose to start over at a different church or move to a different town. I know some who stayed put. Some have regretted it. But, those who followed by faith, were more at peace then the one’s who chose to follow the coins. Because even if they stumbled or got off track a little, they were holding hands with a Father who wants only the best for them and would lead them gently back onto the road they needed.

Gwendolyn Irene

www.gwendolynirene.com

I'm Too Much

I have been told this so many times in my seven years of dating. Have you heard this yourself? 

I'm too needy. 

I'm too passionate. 

I'm too intense. 

I'm too sassy. 

I'm too picky. 

I'm too much of a pain in the ass.

I'm too independent. 

I'm too confident. 

Im too emotional. 

I'm too insecure. 

I'm just too much.

When I first started dating, this would hurt my heart to hear. You don't want to be called "too much" of anything, you want to be just right. Just right for that person you're seeing. You want to mesh. Being called too much means that I need to fix something, because something must be wrong with me right? 

So after while you start to believe it. You start making sure that you're not too much. You don't touch a person even though you really want to. You don't reach out to them when you want to hear from them. You make sure that you don't say what you feel you should say. You put a lid on it, in other words. You basically are keeping your true self from that person because you don't want to be "too much". And you start shriveling up inside because of it. 

Over time it started making me angry. I see it as a cop-out for most men that have used these lines against me. You see, because they thought I was too much for them but they would not step up to be the person they needed to be for me or themselves. And that intimidated them. They didn't want to be challenged; in their faith, their day to day lives or their minds. They wanted simple. They wanted easy. They wanted what I am not. 

Now, looking back, I am so thankful they chose not to step up. That I was too much for them. They couldn't have really handled all that I am anyways. ;) As one of my favorite InstaPoets, R.H. Sin said, "You'll be too much woman for every man until you meet your soulmate."

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Because MY PERSON you see...my person, the one who gets me in the end he will not think I am too much. He will think I am perfect and love every inch of my sass, every flaw, every detail of my past that has made me who I am today. He will try to understand why I am who I am. The walls that I have put up to protect myself and gently, piece by piece, try to bring it down. He won't throw those things in my face and try to make me feel bad about them. No, he is not selfish like that. 

So ladies, if a guy tries to tell you that you are too much, remind him this...hell yes you are too much! And you're going to keep being too much for him!! Because if he thinks you're too much now, what's he gonna think of you when life gets dirty and you get in the trenches? How's he going to be able to handle you if he can't even respect you? 

Let them boys go who make you feel bad for being too much of YOU!!! That way you will open yourself up for the one that will love ALL of you. 

-JLR

Scooter's Coffee

The new Scooter's Coffee located at 2930 S Campbell Ave.

The new Scooter's Coffee located at 2930 S Campbell Ave.

Last Friday, October 13th, I was invited to stop by the new Scooter's Coffee in Springfield, MO for their Grand Opening. Needless to say,  no one had to twist my arm to go try out a new coffee shop and I am so glad I did...for several reasons.

This first Scooter's location in Springfield is a Drive-Thru only and it was a lovely fall day in the Ozarks, almost warm even. One of the team members was outside in the Drive-Thru passing out swag as they were doing giveaways during certain times of the day. She was greeting all customers with a friendly smile and a welcome. Taking their order on the tablet so it would be ready when they pulled up to the window.

The menu is easy to navigate with lots of delectable choices! They have hot, iced, or "blenders" coffee, smoothies, and teas. They even a great selection of food choices to satisfy the crave that comes at 6am before those early morning meetings or at 3pm for that afternoon pick-me-up. I have heard the cinnamon rolls are to die for, I'm getting that next time I'm there!

They also have a Scooter's Coffee mobile app. This app allows customers to quickly pay for purchases by scanning a barcode linked to a registered Scooter’s Coffee gift card.  Right now they are having a half off discount available on the mobile app ONLY, this is good through Friday, October 20th. The app also includes a loyalty program and other features. Acting as a digital punch card, customers earn Smiley Faces when they use the app for purchases, then can redeem their Smiley Faces for a free drink after collecting 12. In addition, the app will enable customers to access special offers, view the nearest locations, browse the full Scooter’s Coffee menu and track purchases. So yes, you need to download the app ASAP! 

But free coffee is better right?? Well you can enter for a chance to win a $25 gift card to any Scooter's location right here, right now! How cool is that? Make sure you share on your facebook page for that specific entry and go like the local Scooter's Coffee page while you're there.

I was greeted by store owner, Mary Rolf, and she invited my friend and I to come in and check the new digs out. As you can tell, the space set up for the Drive-Thru only location is just enough for the employees at hand. There were four working that day and they were constantly busy the entire time I was there. But one team member graciously stopped long enough to make me my own Scooter's Coffee, yes I am (or was) a Scooter's virgin. 

I asked Mary what she recommended and immediately she told me that her favorite was the signature drink, Caramelicious Blender with chocolate added. So I got a large regular, no chocolate, (whip cream is a must) and I was impressed. Scooter's says this about the Caramelicious Blender, "Our sweet signature fuses World-Class Espresso with rich, velvety caramel sauce and ice cream base. This staple is topped with fluffy whipped cream and drizzled with caramel sauce." It was velvety smooth, the amount of caramel was just right, it wasn't too rich, and yes you could taste the espresso wonderfully. It was gone before I got back to my car!

While I received the tour, Mary and I got a chance to chat and this is another reason I am so glad I stopped by. Her husband, John, and her bought into the Scooter franchise. They have already broke ground for their second location in Springfield, on East Sunshine, and they have plans for more locations in the 417 area! (I heard a Nixa location is possible...shhhhhh don't tell anyone!)

To see her light up when talking about this new passion of hers was a special part of my day. We connected almost immediately. She has been a stay-at-home mom now for several years, and decided that she needed something for herself. The kids would be starting school soon and she didn't want to be at home all the time. She wanted to be involved in her community. She wants to make a difference. Man, could I relate to that. Also, being a mom to two young girls, she knows the importance of sharing with them that "mom has her own dreams." I have no doubt that these girls will grow up to be such strong, independent women because of seeing their mom follow her own dreams. 

I left Scooter's with not only an excellent blended coffee drink...but I also left with a new friend.

Janelle Reed, founder of SingleMomzRock, and Mary Rolf, owner of Scooter's Springfield.

Janelle Reed, founder of SingleMomzRock, and Mary Rolf, owner of Scooter's Springfield.

SingleMomzRock wishes you an abundance of success bringing Scooter's to 417 and we can't wait to follow you on your journey chasing your dreams. 

Janelle Reed, Founder