Mother's Day

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I've sit here and tried to think of what to say and write about moms.

I mean Mother’s Day is coming up soon and for one day everyone focuses their attention on the mom in their life. We get cute thank you cards, flowers, and sometimes someone even to wash the dishes.

This past week has been super emotional for myself and my girls. We are in the process of moving after the school year so their last time of doing things have been very hard. Last night my oldest dealt with her first broken heart and I did not know what to say. My initial reaction is all men suck and he isn't worth your tears. And yet as I sit there watching this young girl who is bigger than me I was reminded she's still my baby. 

What makes a good mom? Is it because some of us volunteer countless hours at school, doing crafts, making Pinterest worthy costumes, or make it to every single activity they have? Is it the mom who is late all the time because, like myself, some days you just can't get it together? Or is it because no matter how our day is going or how much we want to hide and cry and deal with our own things we push that aside for them. To remind our children of who they are. 

I can't lie. There are days I let my kids eat carbs and sugar and veg out unmonitored in front of a TV. And you know what? That's ok. Because there are days when they are feeling unworthy, unloved, and need that extra push that I remind them I am there. 

My oldest graduated 8th grade, lost her dog, went to her 8th grade dance, and got dumped this week. Her dad never texted, called, or showed up to any of her things. And the best compliment I got was from her this week. She told me it was ok because she knew no matter what I would be there. 

We judge ourselves so harshly on how other moms do things that we forget God gave us the kids he did because they needed a mom like us. So, I did what I would always do. I let her cry. Then I said suck it up buttercup. You are better than them. They don't deserve you. And I finally got a smile. 

Being a mom isn't some words strung together for a definition. We need all types of moms. However, we must learn that we are doing the best we can as well. So, if you didn't get those cupcakes made it is ok to go buy them. Chances are that smiling little face will beam just as brightly just knowing you are there. 

Christina Snider

Woman You Are a Warrior

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To always stand on the fringe,

On the outside looking in,

To bridge the gap, to claw your way back,

To the surface

Judged

Misunderstood

Ignored

Forgotten

When loneliness shreds you apart,

And weariness empties your heart,

Always on the giving end, with never enough to give

Worn thin to oblivion, in the shadow of society built on togetherness

Where is your hope of the shore Woman when the sea wages its war?

But Woman, you are a warrior

When you stand, you stand on your own,

When the other ones fold in lover’s arms,

You stand under the Creator’s wing and cling

To a quiet dream, and every day shoulder the impossible.

Your love is like no other, your love thunders and tears asunder

Your arms and hands are beauty 

Though they are weary, for the little ones they ferry, all alone

There’s no time to fold, there’s no option to quit, no luxury of giving in

For your weariness is precious and your efforts are endless and so far from perfection

But Woman, you are a warrior.

~Brandi Dailey 

Thrive Single Moms

http://www.thrivesinglemoms.org/

Accountability 2017

A new year for new beginnings. Now is the time I set into motion my New Year’s resolutions. 2017 will be my year. I will lose weight, change my style, finish school, make new friends, and form healthy relationships. I will begin a career, and buy that house! I will be more relaxed and flowy, and be the mom my kids can relate to.

Or, I will wash this bag of chunky chocolate chip cookies down with a six-pack of apple ale, and cry myself to sleep because I’m too tired and unmotivated to do any of those things--not now, not ever.

My life is overrun with caring for others. Between my full-time job as a caregiver (where I am obligated to focus my attention solely on my clients’ needs) and surviving the war zone that has become my home life (two teenagers, two preteens, and one temperamental toddler), where do I find time to focus on me? Who takes care of me?

According to my doctor, nobody does, as I now know I have metabolic syndrome, and I’m pre-diabetic. My body is becoming insulin resistant, and in turn, stores everything I eat as fat in my gut which has caused liver disease. The treatment: a drastic change in diet and regular exercise.

You mean, I have to find time to exercise outside of my job, cleaning house, doing laundry,  running my kids all over town, mediating squabbles until bedtime, and the inability to sit down for 5 minutes without hearing “MOM!” being screamed from all corners of the house?

How do we as single moms, find time to take care of ourselves as well as our kids?

A good place to start is to put down that bag of chunky chocolate chip cookies, wipe the crumbs off your face, and ask yourself, “Who will take care of them when I’m gone?”

We become so busy with just getting through our daily routines that we forget our bodies have a shelf life. We don't know how much time we have, and as single moms, especially, in order to fulfill our duties to our children we need to be diligent in taking care of ourselves first (that concept has always sounded backwards, but given my current situation it makes sense).

I don't feel I’m in a place to give health advice, as I am an overweight, 35-year-old pre-diabetic who would just assume dive bomb a Chinese food buffet rather than drink a kale smoothie for lunch, but I think the first step here is to find an accountability partner. That may be a relative or a friend (another single mom) who will hold me accountable for taking care of me.

“Hey, friend, I don't think piling away quarter pounders is the best plan of action given your current condition.”

“Why, thank you, friend. You’re probably right.”

That's how that works.

2017. Find your accountability partner. Form a blood oath. Make a commitment…whatever it takes.

I am currently accepting applications for an accountability partner. This is not for the squeamish. It could get ugly. Someone will cry (most likely me). Only the serious need to apply.

I also have a membership to Planet Fitness, and I can take a friend anytime I want.

Heather Voyles