Last night I stood with my toddler as he threw one fit after another. An emotional wreck at its finest. As I tried to comfort him or make the situation less frustrating for him, he refused any support. As the adult, I know how to make the situation better. How to comfort and see the problem, but he has such a limited understanding of his own frustrations. It’s such a disheartening feeling to watch your child be so irrational over something you know can easily be fixed, as we think to ourselves “If only you could see what I see.”
God must feel similar when he looks down at us sometimes. Throwing fits when we don’t get our way, getting mad when he withholds something from us, disappointed when others don’t meet our expectations. While God looks down and thinks to himself “If only you could see what I see.”
In some ways, we are no wiser than the toddler throwing a fit in the floor, just a little older and a lot more reasons to be frustrated. Yet, we are called to have a childlike heart. A heart that trusts him innocently relies on him as a provider and is submissive in obedience. Oh, how I have failed so many times. Yet, I think of the love I have for my child. Would I ever deny him, turn my back on him for him not being obedient, not provide for his needs, or scold him for not trusting me enough. My child is my heart, as we are God’s heart. My love for my child extends beyond his actions. And yet God’s love for his children extends far beyond our ability to love one another.
It makes me think. If we are called to have a child like heart and love like Christ, am I loving others with the devotion of a child, or the heartache of an adult? I then wonder can I love like I have never been hurt. Trust in people after so much disappointment. Or be obedient in the most challenging moments. The stretching moments that make me want to give up. Honestly, the truth is no. I cannot do those things. I am limited in my abilities, short with my patience and selfish in my decisions. And more honesty, just all around not a very nice person without the love of God teaching me daily how to lay my selfishness down and trust others. He is teaching me the purity of loving like a child. The freedom in giving up control and relying on him. The transparency of learning to have a childlike heart. He sees my fully and loves me despite my limited understanding, and so gently speaks over me “If only you could see what I see.” He reminds me to look up. He knows best. He brings comfort to pain and has the solutions to my frustrations. His power shines greater in my weakness, and I am learning to give in to the weakness. Only then can I embrace the innocence of his heart. A childlike heart.