In this season of single motherhood, however long it may be, I believe there is one ongoing lesson the Lord wants to teach us. We are loved. Within that love means we are safe, secure and shameless. The Lord has been trying to teach me the significance of his love and how I still struggle to accept it in all areas of my life. To fully accept would be for me to completely surrender control, and as much as I hate to admit there are things I still hold on to out of shame. I have been trying to understand the roots of my own shame and learning to let go of pain that cast its ugly shadow on my life. The shadows that dim the light and holds me back from our own freedom in Christ. We can only run so far, before our hurt morphs into other areas of our lives. As time goes on that pain affects our soul, impacting how we see ourselves and how we treat others. I am learning that pain is simply a covering for our shame. We all wear it differently. Some better than others, but the root is the same. At one time we longed for someone’s love or to love ourselves, resulting in feeling less than. This is my place of shame and surrender.
As a child of God, we were never designed to carry shame. When we carry our shame, it becomes a part of us. It begins to define us and we don’t know who we are without it. We keep it close for fear of feeling vulnerable, and as a result we toughen ourselves for the future. All the while keeping control. The Lord is challenging us as women of faith. It’s time to lay down the control, and let go of the shame and to fully accept his love. As we grow in our faith and truly seek him, he changes the desires of our hearts. We long to walk in relationship with him and to lay our selfishness down in order to bring glory to his name. If this isn’t your desire, then maybe it’s time to ask yourself, “What am I still holding on to?”
Surrender is a place for growth, because in our weakness he is strong. The process of letting go of our shame is messy. It means admitting we are not perfect, but we are learning to become present in our lives. We are learning to understand the depths of his love and the burdens he desires to carry for us. This life is meant to be lived in abundance with him and “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame” (Romans 10:11). What an incredible feeling to know any shame I feel in no way comes from my Father. I am shameless in his eyes. This does not mean I have permission to do as I please, but because of how he sees me I want to seek a deeper relationship with him. The shame we feel is placed there by the enemy, creating opposition in our lives to keep us from bringing glory to God. The pain is still real and the past is still present, but we do have control over what we carry into the future. Lay it down, live a life of fullness and let God wash over your shame once and for all. You are spotless in his eyes and you truly are a new creation. Let’s be beautiful for Him!