I'm Too Much

I have been told this so many times in my seven years of dating. Have you heard this yourself? 

I'm too needy. 

I'm too passionate. 

I'm too intense. 

I'm too sassy. 

I'm too picky. 

I'm too much of a pain in the ass.

I'm too independent. 

I'm too confident. 

Im too emotional. 

I'm too insecure. 

I'm just too much.

When I first started dating, this would hurt my heart to hear. You don't want to be called "too much" of anything, you want to be just right. Just right for that person you're seeing. You want to mesh. Being called too much means that I need to fix something, because something must be wrong with me right? 

So after while you start to believe it. You start making sure that you're not too much. You don't touch a person even though you really want to. You don't reach out to them when you want to hear from them. You make sure that you don't say what you feel you should say. You put a lid on it, in other words. You basically are keeping your true self from that person because you don't want to be "too much". And you start shriveling up inside because of it. 

Over time it started making me angry. I see it as a cop-out for most men that have used these lines against me. You see, because they thought I was too much for them but they would not step up to be the person they needed to be for me or themselves. And that intimidated them. They didn't want to be challenged; in their faith, their day to day lives or their minds. They wanted simple. They wanted easy. They wanted what I am not. 

Now, looking back, I am so thankful they chose not to step up. That I was too much for them. They couldn't have really handled all that I am anyways. ;) As one of my favorite InstaPoets, R.H. Sin said, "You'll be too much woman for every man until you meet your soulmate."

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Because MY PERSON you see...my person, the one who gets me in the end he will not think I am too much. He will think I am perfect and love every inch of my sass, every flaw, every detail of my past that has made me who I am today. He will try to understand why I am who I am. The walls that I have put up to protect myself and gently, piece by piece, try to bring it down. He won't throw those things in my face and try to make me feel bad about them. No, he is not selfish like that. 

So ladies, if a guy tries to tell you that you are too much, remind him this...hell yes you are too much! And you're going to keep being too much for him!! Because if he thinks you're too much now, what's he gonna think of you when life gets dirty and you get in the trenches? How's he going to be able to handle you if he can't even respect you? 

Let them boys go who make you feel bad for being too much of YOU!!! That way you will open yourself up for the one that will love ALL of you. 

-JLR