It wasn't supposed to be this way... It wasn't

 

It wasn’t supposed to be me!

It wasn’t supposed to be me….mowing the lawn by myself so the kids could have a childhood.

It wasn’t supposed to be me….updating the house to gain equity so I could sell it for a profit. Or not at a loss.

It wasn’t supposed to be me...raising three kids without a daddy. A daddy who wants nothing to do with them.

It wasn’t supposed to be me …..stretching the paycheck to cover the necessities. the must dos.  the “please mommy’s”, the school bills. the vet bills. The medical bills.

It wasn’t supposed to be me …..considering getting a home security system because the kids were afraid of him.

It wasn’t supposed to be me….disciplining the kids when they needed it.  

It wasn’t supposed to be me….explaining to my boss why DFS was calling them.

It wasn’t supposed to be me….answering DFS’s questions before they asked them, because they had visited me that many times.

It wasn’t supposed to be me..sitting with his family without him, so my kids could know their grandparents.

It wasn’t supposed to be me….explaining why their daddy didn’t want to see them.

It wasn’t supposed to be me…..trying to be both parents.

It wasn’t supposed to be me…afraid of the person that I chose as my husband, the father of my children, my best friend for life.

It wasn’t supposed to be me….questioning every thing I do. Am I a good mommy?

It wasn’t supposed to be me…helping other moms go through the same thing, but not the same thing.

It wasn’t supposed to be me. It wasn’t supposed to be me. It wasn’t supposed to be me.

It wasn’t supposed to be me. But it is.

-MAMW