An Open Letter to My Narcissist

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Dear Sir,

 

I am going to have to let you go. It's not you; it's me. This relationship just isn't working, and I think it best that we part ways before any further damage takes place. There is a severance package, and you're welcome to file a grievance if you feel this separation is unjust. Please note that no parts of the severance package can be exchanged, and once accepted-- it cannot be returned. All grievances must be filed in writing prior to your exiting the premises on this day. I know you might have questions, so please let me explain further in the hopes that you can leave with the answers you desire.

 

First and foremost, you are not the center of the universe. You once slyly coerced me into believing that you needed to be the center of my universe, but I have since wised up. You are no longer the magnetic force that requires my constant attention, affection, energy, and lifeblood. You are not the center of anyone's universe but your own. Only you think that you are always right, always being wronged, infallible, and to be revered and respected. You are none of those things.

 

Secondly, you have an opinion. Every. One. Has. An. Opinion. Your opinion belongs to you, and of course, you feel strongly about it. But that doesn't make it more valuable than anyone else's. For example; "mushrooms are disgusting" is my opinion. Nothing you say is going to make me change my mind. In the event that I choose to change my mind, it will be because that's what I WANT to do. You cannot make me like, love, or enjoy anything that I do not want to. The sooner you realize that you are one of many, not the only-- the better.

 

Thirdly, your lack of manners, etiquette, and common decency is deplorable. You communicate your wants and needs after the fact. For some reason, the whole world is supposed to anticipate and fulfill your desires, quietly, stealthily. It is quite ridiculous. Refer to point 1 if you are confused. The constant yelling, cussing, and berating of people whose sole purpose is to provide you with a limited interaction is sad. You are flat out mean. You're mean to everyone, all of the time. You can be nice, kind, charming, and sweet. But those traits are short-lived and vastly overshadowed by your demeaning ever-present down talking.

 

In the years that I have known and interacted with you, you have pretended to make changes to yourself for the better. These are shenanigans. Your defective personality permeates through whatever facade you claim to have adopted. The only constant about you is that you are unable to change. You cannot see the hurt and harm that you have caused, you accept no responsibility for your words or actions, and the fact that you can position your mouth to lie about it is another sign of just how ill you are.

 

Lastly, I strongly suggest that you seek professional counseling. Your behavior suggests that there is something very hurt, bruised, and torn inside of you. Something you have never dealt with in your more than four decades on this planet. You can only hear your own voice, your own thoughts. You justify you. No one else provides anything of value to you (in your opinion). You have no friends. And the family you have; while local, they remain at a distance. You claim that people only seek you when they want something from you. Think about the fact that no one seeks you.

 

As part of your severance package, I am ceasing any and all extraneous communications with you. If it doesn't involve the safety, health, or education of our children; it will not be discussed. You are encouraged to embrace this as a full and actual reality from this moment forward. Going forward, our relationship is defined as parallel parenting. This is my home, and I will raise our children as I see fit. Your opinion, outrage, and disagreements can be submitted in writing once a month. They, along with any other grievances, will instantly be shredded. Never having been read-- because severance.

 

I wish you well. I will pray for your mental health and stability. I will pray for your continued relationship with our children-- that it is healthy, encouraging, and always loving. Please take any personal belongings with you as you leave as you will not be permitted to return to the property. I thank you for the hard lessons I learned while being near you. I will forever be grateful for our children, and the strength I gained pulling myself up and out of your grasp. All of the locks have been changed, so do with the keys what you will. Your severance is effective immediately. As previously stated, any grievances must be in writing prior to your exit. Be well.

 

Sincerely,

The Me You'll Never Know

Tanisha Ware

See more of her blogs at BrownSugarBritches.com