It has been three and a half years since my husband left. I went from sharing a bed with a man for 12 years to being completely alone in my bed.
My bed has been that “place” for me, don’t we all have that kind of place? It’s my place to go and rest; cry and seek solitude. The place where I’ve had to come to a lot of hard realizations about myself and the mistakes I’ve made. The place where I’ve had many a days that I’ve just slept the entire day away because I didn’t want to face the realities. The place where I speak to God the most and continue to dream the big dreams. I love my bed, I really do. It’s my comfort zone.
But for some reason, I just noticed a few weeks ago, that I sleep in the same exact spot. I crawl into that place each and every night. The other side uncovered just like the previous night. It kind of took me back a little bit. To sit here and think that I haven’t moved from that spot each and every night for the past three and a half years. I feel like I have moved in every other way of my life…except from that spot in my bed.
No, I don’t have someone sharing my bed with me. I don’t know when that will happen for me. No, I don’t understand it. But do any of us understand a lot of the things that happen to us? Are we supposed to understand everything?
It’s taken a long time to get myself to the point where I feel like I am content with the stage of life that I’m in. So I try not to focus on that empty spot in my bed like I used to. But moments like a few weeks ago, makes me want to stop and reflect a bit.
I have come to the conclusion that even though I may be single and may sleep in that same spot in my bed every single night, I have a very fulfilling life. I have great relationships and family that have supported me and continue to do so through this crazy ride called life. I have my 2 incredible daughters who amaze me more and more every day. Our life may not be what we thought or what we wanted it to be, but we are living it to the fullest.
Philippians 4:11-12 in the Message says “Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty.”
What is something that may be holding you back from being content with the stage you are in? Where is your “place” or your comfort zone? I would love to hear your comments!